Because Sikowitz Ships Jori.

mercutiosnake asked: In case you guys ever have to be apart for work or something, I figure this will be a useful resource. ;) /watch?v=PBDKEn-TeQg&feature=player_detailpage

JADE: That was one of the greatest things I’ve ever witnessed.

I don’t know if it’s the clunky keyboard or how she types, but his is internet gold.

Anonymous asked: it's amazing how you guys have managed to maintain a relationship/marriage for over three yeas when you don't actually care about each other beyond having sex with each other

JADE: It’s amazing how you’re stupid enough to think that.

You don’t think we care about each other beyond sex? So the amount of times we’ve kissed and cuddled and promised always and forever means nothing? When we’ve stayed awake all night just talking? When I’ve held Tori close when she’s having a nightmare? Oh yes. Clearly all we care about is sex. 

Anonymous asked: I started reading a fanfic and Jade was being all dominant over tori and I started laughing so hard I couldn't breathe and my parents were like "what is it?" I looked them in the eyes and said "Jade's a sub" while continuing to laugh uncontrollably.

TORI: Oh! Oh! Oh my Goodness! That’s hilarious!
That reminds me of when we went to Sandwichway and the advertisement said ‘Ask for your sub inside!’ so I walked in and immediately asked for a Jade! 

JADE: So…what would you like on your epitaph, Tori? 
"Here lies Victoria Anne Vega.
She didn’t know when to shut up.”

Anonymous asked: Hey tori and jade. I made the mistake of falling for a girl who I assumed was gay because she was giving off a lot of signals like a ton of hugging and hand holding with me, but is actually straight and even a bit homophobic (I felt so freaking stupid when I was told that). Any advice you guys could give? Thanks! - confused!anon

TORI: Don’t feel stupid confused!anon! If she was hugging you a lot and even holding your hand, it gives off an extremely strong impression that anyone would fall for. It’s…actually a little surprising that she would be doing all of these things with you if she’s a little homophobic and I’m really sorry that it turned out this way. :{(  I think the only advice I can give is try and move on from this ‘speed bump’ in your relationship…

theoneyoucallerin asked: Jade you are soo beautiful my heart melts when I see you with you girl Tori she is also beautiful

JADE: Oh hey, thanks… 

TORI: She is beautiful, isn’t she?
My beautiful, sexy wife ;{)

Anonymous asked: So my dad is getting remarried on the 9th of august. It's been two years since I FOUND OUT that my parents were getting divorced, a year since they actually finalized it, and less then six months since he proposed. For his fiancé, he has completely changed. Like... A 180 from his past personality. He used to never go to church and now he's going every Sunday, praying at every meal. He used to be stricter, now he dances around and lip syncs to songs and he's getting drunk more and more often(p.1)

(P.2) and he’s gone completely organic. He used to be someone I respected, and frankly, he was kind of a hard-ass but I was okay with that. It feels like I’ve gotten stabbed in the heart and the knife is just being twisted whenever I see him with her, or her kids, because he’s unrecognizable at this point. And it hurts so much to see him with her kids, because he treats them like his own. I don’t know how I’ll make it through the wedding without crying. Could you give me any advice?

TORI: Oh…anon, I’m so sorry. In this instance…I would suggest some serious communication with your dad. It’s more than likely that he’s changed himself so that he can fit into the lifestyle of his new fiancé and he’s treating her kids like his own because he wants to be accepted into their family. It’s a difficult situation, so that’s why it’s important that you talk with him. Let him know that you can’t recognize him anymore - he might not change but at least it’s out in the open. It’s hard…because getting remarried is pretty much like starting a new life and he might be under as much strain as you are. I would talk privately with your dad and try and get an understanding of what’s going on and why he’s changed. Maybe then you can get some sort of closure and the wedding might be a little easier to handle…

Anonymous asked: Random question, What did you guys wear for your wedding. I just keep getting images of Jade stood at the altar in get dress from the scissoring but I really don't think Tori would have allowed it....

TORI: We managed to compromise on what we wore to our wedding! Somehow I wrestled Jade into a white dress (I’m still not sure how that was accomplished) and then I let her wear her Scissoring dress at the wedding reception. 

image

Jade is already pretty scary to other people as it is… putting her in a blood stained wedding dress to walk down the aisle was not the best option.

Anonymous asked: Girl, I saw oxygen cheating on magnesium with nitrogen and I was just like NO.

JADE

Anonymous asked: Jade, I heard that Tori is so insatiable in bed you sometimes have to crush up half a sleeping pill and sprinkle it on her nightly cone of Funky Nut Blast, just to get some rest. It this true?

TORI: What?! Is this true?
You drug my ice cream?!

JADE: No! Of course I don’t drug your ice cream! 

TORI: Oh. Okay. Good…

JADE: …But it’s a fantastic idea. 

TORI: JADE!

Anonymous asked: Smut pls

JADE: …Smut pls? What are you? Some horny spell check gone wrong?